We talk a lot about foreplay and what happens during sex, but what we don’t talk about enough is what happens after.
Aftercare is a broad term for how you and your partner support each other and check-in after you’ve had sex.
Sex can ramp us up and leave us with all sorts of emotions. We may feel energized, or drained – or both. Some people feel exposed and vulnerable, or like their nervous system is ramped up.
This practice gives you and your partner a chance to regulate, and deepen your relationship.
Sexual aftercare should be thought of as part of your sexual experience, much like foreplay, versus a separate thing after, that may feel like a chore. It’s essential for a healthy dynamic.
The goal of aftercare is for all parties involved to feel safe and seen, while leaving space to discuss anything that came up during sex.
The term aftercare comes from the kink community.
Depending on what your flavor of kink is, some minor injuries can occur, which need to be attended to.
The other reason people in the kink world advocate for aftercare is to help support people in any hormonal drops that can occur after such an intimate or intense experience. When adrenaline, cortisol, or oxytocin levels surge, they will also drop. Some people may experience anxiety, shame, or mixed emotions afterward.
Aftercare helps to ease the hormonal crash and helps people to integrate their experiences.